http://rainbow.arch.scriptmania.com/rainbow_tv_episode.html

This was too bizarre! innuendos galore here.

crazy stuff...haha

This is brilliant!!!

Receptionists always ask at the Doctor's Surgery why you are there and you, in front of others, tell them what's wrong which can sometimes be embarrassing.

There's nothing worse than a Doctor's receptionist who insists you tell
her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this elderly gentleman handled it.

An 86-year-old man walked into a crowded Doctor's waiting room. As he approached the desk, the receptionist said... "Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?"

"There's something wrong with my dick," he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said... "You shouldn't come into a
crowded Doctor's waiting room and say things like that."

"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.

The receptionist replied... "You've obviously caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and then discussed the problem further with the doctor in private."

The man replied... "You shouldn't ask people things in a room full of others, if the answer could embarrass anyone."

The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.

The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"

"There's something wrong with my ear," he stated.

The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice.

"And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?"

"I can't piss out of it," the man replied.

The waiting room erupted in laughter.



Dan
xxxxxxxx

I am rolling over here, because it is so true...Why can't we just tell the receptionist..."I need to see the doctor". I mean most people don't go to the doctor unless they absolutely need to go. It is like spreading the jam on two pieces of toast when you are only gonna eat one piece...it is a waste of info, and bread...hahaha! The receptionist can only spread the word... not cure it... Thanks Dan, Janet

Okay, so...


This man walks into his psychiatrist's office wearing only Saran Wrap.

The psychiatrist takes one look at him and makes his diagnosis:

"Sir, I can see clearly your nuts."


-BOS

It is great to have you back "home" Babes! Love ya, Janet

wicked !! and dan my son loved your joke lol. luv sue xx

always good to be home Janet.

Ooo and here's another one! Bestest blonde joke ever!!! (no offense to blondes, we all have our blonde moments)

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle,and I can't figure out how to get it started." Her boyfriend asks,"What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says,"According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble thess pieces into anything resembling a tiger."

He takes her hand and says,"second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then..." he sighed,"... let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box..."



-BOS

LOL!!

That's a good one.

that one still cracks me up!!!
my friend sent me this one called 6 degrees of blonde, if it's on here already forgive me.

FIRST DEGREE

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang
at 2 in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde),
picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How
should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung
up.

The husband said, "Who was that?"

The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to
know if the coast is clear."


SECOND DEGREE

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices
a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it
up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm,
this person looks familiar."

The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!"
So the first blonde hands her the compact.

The second one looks in the mirror and says,

"You dummy, it's me!"



third DEGREE

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state
capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know
all of them."

A friend! says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?"

The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."


Forth DEGREE

What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her
she was pregnant?

"Is it mine?"


fifth DEGREE

Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA
freshman, sat in her US government class. The professor
asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about.

Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That
was the decision George Washington had to make before
he crossed the Delaware."


6th DEGREE (this one really cracks me up!!!)

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find
her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned
the police at once and reported the crime.

The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio,
and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to
respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with
his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch,
shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then
sat down on the steps.

Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come
home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the
police for help, and what do they do?

They send me a BLIND policeman."

Hope you all enjoyed the laughter.
Rain

Once there was a bus with 37 people and everyone on there was ugly. The bus crashed and everyone died and went to Heaven. Saint Peter gave them all one wish before entering.

The first guy said, "Make me beautiful." Everyone followed suit. When there was about 10 people left Saint Peter saw that the man in the back was laughing. He kept on granting the people's wishes to be beautiful.

By the time Saint Peter got to the last guy he was rolling all over the ground laughing really hard. Saint Peter said, "What is your wish?" and he said, "Make them all ugly again."

heeeeeheeee heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! I LOVE THAT JOKE!!! I was like wondering, "wonder where this one is going?" The guy at the back of the bus, oh God, too funny. Loved it.

quote:

Originally posted by fast changes:
Once there was a bus with 37 people and everyone on there was ugly. The bus crashed and everyone died and went to Heaven. Saint Peter gave them all one wish before entering.

The first guy said, "Make me beautiful." Everyone followed suit. When there was about 10 people left Saint Peter saw that the man in the back was laughing. He kept on granting the people's wishes to be beautiful.

By the time Saint Peter got to the last guy he was rolling all over the ground laughing really hard. Saint Peter said, "What is your wish?" and he said, "Make them all ugly again."

RRTFLMFARO

Man thats good... hahahaha.

The police are ordered to clean up the high street for a big parade, and are patrolling the pavements when a drunk staggers towards them. ‘Excuse me, offisher,’ he says to one constable. ‘Could you pleash tell me the time?’ The constable frowns at him. ‘One o'clock,’ he replies – before whacking the drunk over the head with his baton. ‘Christ,’ said the drunk, reeling. ‘I'm glad I didn't ask you an hour ago.’

What happened when Jesus went to Mount Olive? Popeye kicked the crap out of him.

A man and a woman leave a party in their car late one night. After a couple of miles a police car signals the man to pull over. The policeman walks up to the couple.
�Good evening, sir,� he says. �Do you realize you were doing 60 mph in a 55 mph zone?�

�I�m afraid I didn�t,� the man says. �I must have put my foot down to keep up with the traffic. I�m terribly sorry.�

�He�s lying, officer,� the man�s wife suddenly shouts. �He clearly told me he was going to thrash the car�s arse off to get back in time for the football.�

The policeman nods his head. �I also noticed you were weaving in and out of the traffic in a reckless manner,� he says.

�Yes, I was,� the man replies. �An insect flew into my eye and I lost control for a moment. I�m very sorry. Next time I�ll pull over.�

�He�s such a liar,� the man�s wife interrupts again. �He was laughing like a madman and pretending to be James Hunt.�

At this point the man finally snaps.

�For fuck�s sake woman,� he bellows. �Shut your blabbering mouth before I fill it!�

�Does he always speak to you like this?� the cop asks the wife.

�Oh no, officer,� the wife says. �Only when he�s had eight pints and a couple of bottles of wine.�

The Lone Ranger and Tonto are camping in the desert, set up their tent, and are asleep. Some hours later, The Lone Ranger wakes his faithful friend. Tonto, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Tonto replies, "Me see millions of stars."

What does that tell you?" ask The Lone Ranger. Tonto ponders for a minute and replies.....

"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.

Time wise, it appears to be pproximately a quarter past three.

Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

What it tell you, Kemo Sabi?"

The Lone Ranger is silent for a moment, then speaks. "Tonto, you dumb ass, someone has stolen our tent.

hahahaha...good one Fast What is knowledge without sense? Janet

Fast you crack me up.... that one was hilarious!

Here's a joke- ssss eee if yyyyy ou cannnnn getttt ittt:

A teacher is in a class full of students discussing speach impediments and stuttering.

The teacher makes an absolute statement to class in this manner:
"Class did you know that human beings are the only animals that stutter."

One little boy raised his hand in class and said, "UN- ah, nope that is not true."

The teacher again reaffirms, "I am sorry but human beings are the only animals in the planet who stutter."

Again the little boy says, "Un- ah nope that is not true."

Some what puzzeled and frustrated the teacher then proceeds to inquire with the little boy as to how he came to his conclusion, rather than challenge the statement.

"And what other animal stutters William?" The teacher asks him in somewhat of an curious tone.

"Cats stutter."

The teacher responds to William, "I'm sorry William but cats do not stutter when they speak."

"Uh-hah, yes teacher they do."

The teacher frustrated says, "And when have you heard them stutter William?

"My cat stutters at the dog whenever he gets near and says,'fff- fff- fff', when he's telling him to bugger off."