Feel free to discuss your thoughts on an issue that seems to anger some in our society.

I suggest members may examine:

the responsibilities of those in said relationships to one another

the responsibilites of those in said relationship to their respective cultures/"races"

the attitude of others who may "look in"

the stigma attached by certain groups of our societies (globally) on these relationships as well as how those perspectives may differ

the effects of these relationships

This topic will remain free of moderation as long as members agree not to call out fellow members specifically who may be involved in such relationships.

Great topic Michael! Well I've been in a multi cultural union with my husband for 13 yrs now ,and in the beginning there was some tension on both sides friends and some family members , but neither of us took much notice of what others thought, and in the end most if not all came to not only accept the outside person but actaully grew to love us.
My mother had a fit in the beginning because she was so worried what her friends would say and later apoligized for her rude behaviour upon realizing that she was so wrong in judging someone she didn't know and worrying of acceptance from others.
What I find most annoying about dealing with others is when I'm on my own I hear the racist jokes and comments and then they meet my husband and children and they are sooo phoney nice to them , that kinda makes me sick. My children don't have any identity issues because their parents are of different skin tones. The world will most likely always have those who feel that people shouldn't mix by nationality ,religion ,skin colour sometimes even from different regions of the same place. I hope one day people will see that people are people and the rest is irrelevant. A true future love paradise!

Ok (kind of off topic)... It happened four-five year ago, two females were against me because of my skin color(light skinned). I tried to get along with them; nevertheless they did not want to get along with me. They did not like me because of my race. They were also black. They thought that all light skinned people are stuck up and similar to white people. Therefore, they treated me really badly. I mean they always started problems with me like an argument or a fight. They also make a rumor about me and tried to make me look bad. I thought they were silly to be against me because of my race. They also needed serious help. I was tired of this crap. Well, I don't care what people think about my race. I thought the situation was miserable.

Right! Here I come with my experiences of a French girl married for 19 good years (yep! and hope to rest for very long) to a Ghanaian (for those not knowing, Ghana is in West Africa). It has since been for me the most beautiful moment of my life (even though we don’t have kids and had bad moments as common couples) . I’ve learnt about his culture and he did learn about ours. The only bad moment we had lived as a mixed-couple was when we were travelling through East-cost of US (Ok! It was 15 years back ). From DC to Virginia Beach, then south to Orlando then back north to Charleston (SC) where we stayed 2 months. There we met good and bad fellows (OK! not the best place for mixed-couple). “Black” people (which is not the true colour but rather brown or somehow) tried to influence my husband that still I’m a “White “(which is also untrue as I like to be in the sun and get a bit of tan ) and the same applies to me against my husband.
We always had to remind them both that I’m French and he is from Africa, “Right Homeboy” (being his wife I’m Homegirl), that we do understand that among Americans community there is still this anger going through ‘cos of the slave history but they shouldn’t try to wash our mind with as we were there just to discover the “American way of life” (ok! A bit of struggle but was fun still ).
I don’t think it’s a bit of problem here, it does exist; think about the stupid selfish war that we celebrate the 60th anniversary of its end from now till 8th of May. I guess it as lift up the mind of Europeans (correct me my fellow EU if I’m wrong) not to judge people from their race or religion.
I’m just amazed that we still judge how people should mingle together . This is something I envy from blind people who doesn’t make the differences, they choose from the heart.
I wish one day we shall all open our mind and Share Everything About Love.
SEAL the world.

Respect!! Love is Power

If I love someone it does'nt matter where they are from. This is an issue that has many faucets. When I met my husband I had lived in the south for 14 years, but I was born in the pacific northwest.I was from somewhere else, and for some reason that made a difference to some of my in-laws. I have learned to accept it. If we were all blind, then color would'nt be an issue. If we all looked at what is on the inside and worried less about what is on the outside we would all be happier. Love, Janet

This major rant was a result of going to the thread from which this one stemmed. I couldn't even read it all. I just wanna know what relationship any of this has to do with love.

Fast Changes, I’m with you on the getting past “race” man. Been singing that song for a long time but not too many know the lyrics, or like the tune. Too many would rather keep singing the same old song that’s so way off the freakin key of an enhanced life man. Doesn’t matter how many scientists say there is no such thing as “race,” far too many of us cling to the concept for a sense of identity and would be lost without it…never mind that we are all lost with it…

Major Rant:

Funny how women who are practically naked in a “classy” (read European/White cultural) setting are considered tasteful (whose taste I wonder?). while women with even more clothes on are considered “Hookers” and “Crack Whores,” because they are making gestures that are obviously sexual in nature. As is typical of Euro culture(s), as long as things are hidden, understated, behind closed doors, not up front where everyone can see, they are acceptable and “tasteful.” Being a product of the same environment, I too am conditioned to be repulsed by overt public displays of a sexual nature. There are so many incidences of cultural bias toward Euro aesthetic tastes that it’s hard for anyone taking a look from a critical perspective to miss. In all areas of social life, sports, music, literature, business, etc. Glad I figured that out and moved on…

I wonder if the people throwing the term “Crack Whore” around have ever seen one except on a tv show? I can’t recall seeing a single “crack whore” look like any of the women on the very few music videos I have watched for a minute. Maybe I just haven’t seen enough videos and/or crack whores. “Crack Ho” would probably be a better construct here LOL.

Anyone thinking that all Women of Color (WOC) are trashy and worthless is obviously not very intelligent, poorly informed and/or inclined to believe such rot! Oprah is one of the most popular media products I think (please correct me if I’m wrong) and by Euro standards I don’t think she would be considered trashy and worthless. There are many examples of WOC in media, in real life, in literature, etc. that would refute the notion of all WOC being trashy and worthless. Those who derive their image of the world and the people in it from music videos, magazines, and such may be in need of some guidance. Unfortunately, I think that probably constitutes a majority of the world these days.

Shoot, I could go on and on about this stuff, but what’s the point man. Bottom line is that people have bought into a social system that is predicated on and steeped in physical features and characteristics, one of the most entrenched being skin color, and “White” is at the top of that social order and “Black” is at the bottom. The other Major is gender/sex with Male on top and Female on the bottom (unless you consider Lesbians/Homosexuals…no, scuse me, the Bi people are at the bottom there because even the Lesbians and homosexuals look down on them. Geez! How is this stomached by the whole freakin world man! Am I the insane one here? . This whole “let me see how I can make myself better by looking down on you” M.O. that dominates human societies is just plain insanity to me man. But I remember being there. So I know it is possible to cure the insanity. But hours of music videos ain’t gonna do it. Hours of the tube, period, ain’t gonna do it. Until we can look internally at ourselves and accept what we see, learn that it is okay to be less than perfect (even though we are all perfect in our imperfection), and that we can keep moving toward the maximum manifestation of The Source that we can be, this madness will continue.

When we start to teach children to look inward, establish their connection with the Source of all that is, teach them that they are connected to each and every other thing on the planet, teach them that they don’t need to look a certain way to be valuable contributors to the whole, that they are worthy of love and care, that it would make more sense for them to explore what it means to be human than which media star is wearing what and sleeping with whom, that touching another is soft and soft is good, that fear doesn’t make you weak, just giving in to it, that just because people say stuff doesn’t make it so, that they need to look inward and outward to establish identity, that the “Us vs Them” mentality is a guaranteed retardant to human maximization! Ugh, how did I end up in this morass? Rather than ET go home or however that went, I dream of the call, “T.A.. come home!” This is utter madness!

There will be a constant jockeying for position among groups for dominance and status as long as we continue to buy into the system of grouping people by easily distinguishable physical features and other easily identified social status symbols. Whether identity is established by color, language, weight, possessions, etc. (pretty simple criteria so that the lowest common denominator can differentiate), and one’s worth is determined by which of these groups one falls into, there will be this sort of interaction taking place. As long as human beings seek to establish dominance over each other, whether in groups or individually, we will have the sort of group-oriented negativity that prevails today and has prevailed since our inception. Men vs Women, Black vs White, English vs Spanish, French vs English, Rich vs Poor, Pakistani vs Indian, Jew vs Moslem, and on and on and on and on and on, God it makes my stomach turn! Rita, Randhir, can’t do ya’ll. Spent too many valuable hours of my life in the past on this topic. Gotta jet from this madness!

For any who are offended by anything I spewed here, I'm sorry for your feelings of offense, but not for a single word written.

T.A. I think what u said is right on.
We are all just human beings and everyone is beautiful. By separating ourselves into groups we are missing out on all that beauty we could find in each other.
I am so glad we are not all the same. Our differences is what makes the world such a lovely place. It's unfortunate that some people are afraid of our differences but all we can do is hope and pray for them to change their minds someday.
I belong to the human race.
Peace,
Max

Shoot Max, I am not even the same from day to day, even though I look the same. There are so many differences within groups that the groupings are specious. Think of your own family and the differences there. Yes, difference contributes interest but so do similarities, no? It's all interesting and the socially constructed categories are so very limiting! can you tell I ain't real big on limitations . Thanks for the thumbs up. Feels good to know that at least there's one person out there that diesn't have her/his panties/jockey shorts in a bunch over my rant .

Aww Janet,

That is so sad, and not even unrealistic . Yep, all this color stuff has certainly led to a lot of wilted, jilted and destroyed flowers

"I am not even the same from day to day"

An objective truth (if there is such a thing) that is sooooo hard to see.

Right On! T.A. Right On!

The orignal Star Trek you know the one...

There are two men, black on one side and white on the other and they "hate each other". They are the last of their race and their whole planet destroyed because of race wars. And despite all this, they can think of nothing else but to kill each other.

Spock (he's cool you know) is shocked and in his own Vulcan way asks "I don't see what the problem is. You are both black on one side and white on the other".

The reply... Brace yourselves! haha

"Can't you see, he is black on the right side, and I am black on the left side"

Way back then, yea that TV shocker was the nail on the coffin that was enough for me to abandon any thought of color.

Who has a choice in such a crazy matter in way?



Peace!

quote:

---

Originally posted by fast changes:
The orignal Star Trek you know the one...

There are two men, black on one side and white on the other and they "hate each other". They are the last of their race and their whole planet destroyed because of race wars. And despite all this, they can think of nothing else but to kill each other.

Spock (he's cool you know) is shocked and in his own Vulcan way asks "I don't see what the problem is. You are both black on one side and white on the other".

The reply... Brace yourselves! haha

"Can't you see, he is black on the right side, and I am black on the left side"

Way back then, yea that TV shocker was the nail on the coffin that was enough for me to abandon any thought of color.

Who has a choice in such a crazy matter in way?



Peace!

---

Hi Fastchangesan, ahh, the Star Trek days. Gene Roddenbury was a maverick of the sixties. He dated the actress who played Uhura in Star Trek, I think right before the series went on the air, and in the show Captain Kirk laid a lip lock on Uhura in one episode. The show delt with alot of so-called social taboos at the time. Did you know the series only lasted 3 years on the air, but look at the cult following now...amazing! I remember the half black/half white man, played by Frank Gershwin? The same guy who played the Riddler on the Batman Series I believe. If you notice alot of shows during that time put underlying social lessons in their show scripts. In Trivial Pursuit Mode, Janet

T.A. I feel the same way Max does! All you said is right on target!! I agree wholeheartedly. There's one race and that's the Human one. Everyone is beautiful.

quote:

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Until we can look internally at ourselves and accept what we see, learn that it is okay to be less than perfect (even though we are all perfect in our imperfection),

---

T.A. I too have always thought that. I loved how you worded that, it is the honest truth.

One of the horribly sad parts of this is that it branches out way beyond the original topic of multi cultural relationships. It's like you said, T.A., you're not even the same from day to day, even though you look the same none of us are really the same day to day.

When I love someone, it doesn't matter what their background is compared to mine, what color their skin is, what size they are or what kind of clothes they wear or where they are from.
. . . .Love knows no boundaries. . . .

if you think it does, it's not love at all.

I could go on and on about this topic too. I have the same question you do T.A. What relationship does any of this have to do with love?

I agree with Max, we are all human beings and each one of us is beautiful, and it IS unfortunate that some people are afraid and/or against our differences, they will be in my prayers.

Hugs to all....
Peace
~Karen

MY COUSIN RECENTLY SAID THIS SAYING TO ME AND I THINK IT IS NICE AND SAYS IT ALL FOR ME. " WE ARE All FLOWERS IN THE SAME GARDEN " DOES ANYONE AGREE? MUCH LOVE SUEXX

Well.. haven't been in here for a while and now that I come back I see this topic, thanks Michael. It's something people disguess a lot about.
I'm in a relationship with a west african for about 6 months now and already made a lot of experiences concerning prejudices and so on. There's still some tension with friends and some family members but just like Rita and her husband we both don't care much about what others say or think. I think the only important thing is LOVE and we have a lot of this for eachother. Of course, there are people that have some bad prejudices about mixed couples but the more people convict us the more our love grows.
I make the same experiences that Rita made.. my parents (especially my mother) is worried about what our friends and neighbours will say.. but it's getting better with her since she first met him and got to know him better. I think one shouldn't convict someone he or she doesn't know. I think that all people should be treated equal and all people have the same rights! No matter which language they speak, where they come from, which religion or colour they have.
Martin Luther King once said "We learned to swim like fish and to fly like birds - but we didn't learn the easiest art: to live together like brothers."
People are so equal that the differentness aim for everyone.. no matter which colour or religion. Beyond race, beyond religion, beyond culture there lies beauty within us all.

"A Real Bouquet

Everybody has two eyes
Bright as stars they shine
But their colour may not be
Just the same as mine.
Brown or blue, gray or green
What difference does it make?
As long as you can see the sun
Shining when you wake
Some folks hair is very black
Some have blonde or brown
Whatever colour it may be
Its a pretty crown
Flowers have so many shades
And Im sure you know
Many lovely gardens
Where such flowers grow
Children in this great big world
Are flowers in a way
Some are light, some are dark
Like a real bouquet
Did you ever stop to think
How awful it would be
If everybody looked the same
Who would know you from me?"


lots of love and peace

Nadine.

I just wanna say I really related to all the comments and shared stories in this thread , hell all over the dang board really! I feel so connected with one and all here. That Seal really knows how to spread love! I'm so emotional now, can't put it all in words well I'm not gonna even try. But the quote that sue shared about being flowers in the same garden how true and here @ Seal.com we make up a the most beautiful variety I've ever seen!

rita i could not agree with you more luv sue xx

Hi All,
Love covers all blemishes.Race(s), History or whatever.It the love that keeps all couples together.Thats all in a nutshell.
I feel you all in such multi-racial relationships, Rita , Homegirl and everyone else.Its exciting and sure you have a lot to laugh at.when you encounter such ignorant people, with bias.Keep up the love tango.

Love,
Koko.

Culture, now this is an entirely different can of worms compared to
race which as mentioned I don't think we have much choice when born
what our color we will be. At least I don't remember being asked

Perhaps many of us confuse "our culture" with the color of our skin.
Culture is a bit more complicated to get a grasp on I think.

For the most part (in my opinion) culture is a by product of the individual
based on up bringing, country, peers, history and many other factors.

We have the "pop culture" "gay culture" "rap & hip hop culture" "political culture" "black culture" "white culture" "rich culture poor/ culture"and so on. Some have more of a certain group of people than others in regards to color in a particular culture. But the main thing about any culture is its beliefs and pursuits based on those beliefs I think.

The individual however can transcend it's culture ( if he or she chooses too) and this is where people's minds get blown.
For example I am of the American Culture; fast food, fast cars, materialistic gain, etc. (there are very good points to the American Culture, so no worries to you out there); someone say perhaps from another culture may look at all these things we Americans as a whole pursue and not look to see any individuals at all here, but instead attempts to judge us to be all the same. This is where serious problems arise.

However, if I am lucky enough to see past my cultural biases and look at what others believe in or at least investigate, with luck I can understand other courses of living or at least break the bonds of my culture which I was not really aware of in the first place. And perhaps realize that all people are people regardless of culture.

It's hard to get past ones culture, it does not mean one abandons one's own culture no not at all, but it does take a bit of experimentation and questioning of what one has believed and learned within ones own cultural up bringing.

And perhaps just perhaps, we shall get so lucky that we start to cultivate something that
a group of people with common beliefs and interests can never do for us, just maybe we can start to cultivate our Selves.